A prayer for children…

We thank you for children
who squeeze toothpaste all over the sink
who can never find their shoes
who hug us in a hurry and forget their lunch money,
who throw tantrums in the grocery store and pick at their food,
Thank you for allowing us the privilege of having these children in our lives.

We pray for children here today
who spend all their pocket money before Tuesday
who shove dirty clothes under the bed,
who get visits from the tooth fairy,
who don’t like to be kissed in front of the school
whose tears we sometimes laugh at
and whose smiles can make us cry.
May they know that our love for them is real and not dependent on how they perform

And today we pray, for young people in our world
who can’t run down the street in a new pair of trainers,
who will eat anything yet never get dessert,
who don’t have any rooms to clean up,
whose pictures aren’t on anybody’s dresser,
whose monsters are real.
Bring hope where there is none and calm in their despair

We pray for children whose nightmares come in the daytime,
who stare at photographers from behind barbed wire,
who are born in places we wouldn’t be caught dead,
who never get to go to the cinema
who live in an X-rated world.
Bring comfort where there is sadness and peace in their hearts

We pray for those who have never seen a dentist,
who aren’t spoiled by anybody,
who go to bed hungry and cry themselves to sleep,
who live and move, but have no being.

We pray for every girl to be carried
Every boy to have a second chance
Every child to be loved
And for each young person to be able to grab the hand of someone kind enough to offer it

For those we never give up on
For those we smother
For those who sometimes frustrate us
For those we love
And for those we don’t even know

We pray for children. Amen

(Prayer used at Youth Vision Sunday at Carnmoney Church on Sunday 20th May. Adapted from the famous poem by Ina Hughes: ‘A prayer for children’)

Also, have a look at this. Something we shared with our adults using the voices of our own children and young people.

The power of vulnerability

A couple of weeks ago I wrote a blog post about vulnerability. Got lots of response via twitter about how it had resonated with, even challenged a number of people. It’s something I’ve come to believe passionately that we need to be more vulnerable in our families, friendships, churches, and even in our leadership.

The reason I began to think this way was through this video that I watched just over a year ago. It completely changed my perspective on leadership and on the need to not numb our emotions. It’s been an interesting journey since then but I thoroughly recommend you taking 15 minutes out to watch this. If you do, I’d love to hear your thoughts…

It’s been lovely to see others around me become more vulnerable in some ways over the past wee while. Tough but beautiful.

it never works that way…!!

The joys of youth work mean that when you ask your young people to take part in something, it usually means that you need to be prepared to do the same. A couple of weeks back I grabbed a few places on a charity abseil at the Obel Tower intending that they would be for the young people. But I suppose it never works that way…!!

Habitat for Humanity are a fantastic charity that I’ve been aware of and seen at work from a distance for many years, but finally I’m delighted to get on board with what they are doing right here in Northern Ireland. Next month I’ll have the chance along with a group of young people to be involved in a building project for disadvantaged people in Belfast and I’m excited about the chance to be practical for those on the margins of our society.

I’m not a huge fan of heights but having abseiled many times before I wasn’t too bothered. But the height of the Obel Tower, Ireland’s highest building, took my breath away a little and I began feeling pretty ill as I stood waiting at the top!! My 3 fellow young people were also pretty freaked out, some conquering fears of heights and all of them abseiling for the first ever time. 300 feet is some way to start!! Slipping ourselves over the edge, seeing Belfast sprawled out before us and allowing our feet to dangle in mid air was an incredible moment. But after a long descent we all managed it!

It was a great way to do a small little bit to raise money for this amazing project. Would love you to join us in it by donating even a small amount to help us reach our target. Struck by the fact that its easy to like a facebook status or photo, but much harder to sacrifice. That’s what I’m being challenged by right now and I suppose today was a small part of that for me.

Here is our JustGiving site over at http://www.justgiving.com/Carnmoney-Youth – 100% of which goes straight to Habitat for Humanity. Thanks in advance for any support and here are some snaps…

 

 

it’s okay…

I remember being on holiday in Portugal a few years back and getting into conversation with one of the promotional folks at one of the clubs in the town. She was explaining how their promotional campaign centred around handing out free shots to everyone who came into the club, but went on to tell us that the shots they offered were the cheapest, most watered down shots hoping that everyone would be too drunk to notice, or else that it would have brought them in for a drink anyway and they would make their money.

After telling us this we observed a group of Irish lads enter the club and take their free shots. It was clear they were all putting on a show of bravado and trying to outdo one another as to who was really more drunk. As they ‘downed’ their free shot, each of them acted with shock, attempting to show how strong it really was and how what they were doing was so extreme. We watched and laughed as they pretended to stagger back after the shot, each participating in this little act even though all of them inwardly knew the truth…

It was a pathetic little false production but really is no different to the way we live our lives. We all know we each have issues. We are aware that everyone struggles with some things. We all have our shortcomings.

And yet we walk around with our shows of bravado holding our masks up that all is good in our world and that we are holding it all together. We play our silly little perfection game rather than dare admit that we have those insecurities, or may not be doing well, or do not know the right answer.

I’m learning to be more vulnerable. I’m trying hard to not always have the final word. I’m becoming slowly better at not always responding to a personal criticism with an immediate defense. I’m determined to share my insecurities more and allow others to hear my worries or concerns.

It’s okay not to have it all together.
It’s okay not to have all the answers.
It’s okay to have someone disagree with your opinion.
It’s okay to share your fears with others.
It’s okay to be vulnerable.

Perhaps in doing this myself it will allow others around to do the same. Perhaps our own vulnerability will help others to realise that they don’t need to participate in their own false little productions. And perhaps it may allow to be freer in who I am and who I can become…

Dan Walker

This is happening at our church on Sunday night. Really looking forward to it. Everyone welcome…

A modern parable…

Wrote my first parable this week and shared it with a group of young people on Wednesday. Seemed to resonate with them so thought I’d share it. Hope you catch the meaning and the sentiments behind it…

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I love my wife. I love her so much that every Friday morning I make an appointment to see her for an hour. I never miss it, well…apart from the mornings I forget to set my alarm or wake up too tired. It’s usually an enjoyable time but the best part about it is that there are lots of other people there too. It’s not just about seeing her of course, it’s about all the other people too. The conversation is always good but sometimes she does go a bit. I sometimes glance at my watch but only because I’m worried about the dinner being burnt or the football match that’s about to start. She even suggests seeing her again that night. I don’t get that. I don’t see the need to see her twice that day. I mean I love her and all but to come back to the same place just a few hours later seems pointless.

I love my wife. I love her so much that I even try to see her outside those Friday mornings too. I mean, I don’t manage it every day but now and again I do manage to spend about 10 minutes or so with her just after Neighbours is over and before Scrubs starts. I would chat to her every day but I don’t want it to become a meaningless ritual or routine. Sometimes she tells me she would like to spend more time with me, and that always sounds quite nice but I’ve got a really busy life. Assignments and revision get on top of me a bit, and I’ve got lots of other people to hang out with too. Plus, I don’t think she realises that she can’t always come before the Champions League or the new series of Grey’s Anatomy. I mean it’s series 6.

I love my wife. I love her so much that I talk about her to my friends. Well, when I say talk, I mean I let my actions do the talking. Everyone can see how passionate I am about her because they see how content I am in life or how often I go to see her on Friday mornings. I even invite them along on Friday mornings sometimes to watch how much I care about her, but they say they would find that all a bit weird or something. Oh well, their loss! I probably don’t talk about her as much as I should, but I don’t want to shove it down their throats or make them feel uncomfortable. I mean, all of my mates like different girls and so it doesn’t mean that my love is the only love.

I love my wife. I love our conversations. We talk for ages. I tell her all about my day and ask her to help me with things. Well, when I say talk, I do most of the talking. She’s pretty quiet sometimes so I like to keep things moving along so it doesn’t become too awkward. Come to think of it, I actually haven’t heard her speak for a while…but there’s not much time for that because I’ve so much to ask her to help me with. The other day I asked her to do 4 things for me and she managed them all by the end of the week. It’s amazing how much she does for me. Must tell her sometime…

I love my wife. Well, when I say love…

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Please remember this is a parable – an earthly story with a deeper, heavenly meaning!!

privilege

These are some of the young people I have the privilege of working with…

Launch, Lead & Last

The great leaders of today like Alan Sugar, Alex Ferguson, Steve Jobs and Nelson Mandela all had something that made them great. Whether it was vision, creativity, commitment or longevity, each of them have been outstanding leaders in their fields. If we are to lead well then we are going to need people of vision, full of creativity who will commit for the long haul.

We can learn a lot from the life of Joseph. He was a true leader of his family, and of his generation. Here are 3 simple things we can learn from his life.

1.   Launch
Joseph was a man of vision. He dreamed a lot and when he shared these dreams with his family, he got laughed at, ridiculed, and even bullied. We too must search for a God given dream and vision for our settings, and we should take time to share and communicate these things. We are warned in Proverbs that “without vision the people perish” and so we must continually listen and strain our ears for what this is in our context.

We also need to remember that Joseph had these dreams when he was still young and so we also must have the humility to listen to the thoughts and dreams of those around us.

Great leaders have great vision. What is your vision for where you are: your family, your town, your job, your church or your community?

2.   Lead
Joseph led no matter what his circumstances were. Whether he was sold into slavery, wrongly accused, put into prison, forgotten about or standing in front of the Pharaoh, he continued to lead and set an example to those around him.

Too often we let circumstances or failure hold us back from leading well. Joseph became a leader of his generation, but this leadership started when he was in prison as he led those around him. Set aside your excuses and begin to lead from where you are.

Great leaders lead no matter the circumstances. What are you letting hold you back from leading well?

3.   Last
Finally, we need leaders who last in an instant world. Joseph stayed true to his calling the whole way through his life and kept on leading right until the end. Far too often in leadership, particularly with young people, we maintain such a short-term vision. I once heard it said that we shouldn’t overestimate what we can achieve in one year, but we also shouldn’t underestimate what we can achieve in 5. For more than a decade Joseph led at the front of government, gaining integrity, trust and relationships. Let’s do the same in our areas of leadership. Let’s keep going!

So keep launching, keep leading and keep lasting wherever you are!

my 12 highlights of 2011

in no particular order…!!

1. A few days in London with my family, getting inside the Palace, meeting the Queen & seeing Dad receive his MBE
2. Our holiday in Donegal with a group of amazing friends
3. A new job, a new community, a new challenge and a new start
4. Watching friends get married
5. Our friend Paul arriving randomly on our doorstep after being away for the last 2 years away
6. Christmas hotel break with Sarah
7. The banter of weekends away with young people
8. Times in Dublin learning, discussing and laughing
9. Finishing my 2nd marathon with a new personal best
10. Church weekend away at the North Coast
11. Serving with an amazing team of leaders
12. Seeing Sarah’s face after she got accepted for her PGCE course

oh and 13…..Spurs are 3rd in the league!!!

on the 12th day of Christmas…

Day 12
There were lots of people involved in the first Christmas story. From family to shepherds to angels to wise men to animals! There are lots of people involved in our lives who have made a difference to us. Perhaps we need to thank and encourage these people more.

Do
Write and hand deliver a Christmas Card to someone who has helped you this year. Tell them that!