I remember being on holiday in Portugal a few years back and getting into conversation with one of the promotional folks at one of the clubs in the town. She was explaining how their promotional campaign centred around handing out free shots to everyone who came into the club, but went on to tell us that the shots they offered were the cheapest, most watered down shots hoping that everyone would be too drunk to notice, or else that it would have brought them in for a drink anyway and they would make their money.


After telling us this we observed a group of Irish lads enter the club and take their free shots. It was clear they were all putting on a show of bravado and trying to outdo one another as to who was really more drunk. As they ‘downed’ their free shot, each of them acted with shock, attempting to show how strong it really was and how what they were doing was so extreme. We watched and laughed as they pretended to stagger back after the shot, each participating in this little act even though all of them inwardly knew the truth…

It was a pathetic little false production but really is no different to the way we live our lives. We all know we each have issues. We are aware that everyone struggles with some things. We all have our shortcomings.

And yet we walk around with our shows of bravado holding our masks up that all is good in our world and that we are holding it all together. We play our silly little perfection game rather than dare admit that we have those insecurities, or may not be doing well, or do not know the right answer.

I’m learning to be more vulnerable. I’m trying hard to not always have the final word. I’m becoming slowly better at not always responding to a personal criticism with an immediate defense. I’m determined to share my insecurities more and allow others to hear my worries or concerns.

It’s okay not to have it all together.
It’s okay not to have all the answers.
It’s okay to have someone disagree with your opinion.
It’s okay to share your fears with others.
It’s okay to be vulnerable.

Perhaps in doing this myself it will allow others around to do the same. Perhaps our own vulnerability will help others to realise that they don’t need to participate in their own false little productions. And perhaps it may allow to be freer in who I am and who I can become…