i always hate when the milkman comes to our door  on a thursday to collect the money. not because i don’t like him. he’s a nice guy. but because we always seem to have the same dead end conversations every single time.

weather. busy. cold. crunch. credit. holidays. off. hard at it.

same words. similar sentences. stupid conversation.

it frustrates me. not just the milk man i mean. more the dead end, cliched, uncreative and boring conversations.

i’ve said it before here that i love words. they are important to me. and yet i find myself get angry inside when the same, pointless cliched phrases come trotting out of my mouth.

i’m someone who seeks to be more creative in my conversation. i enjoy asking different questions to the people i meet. i want to take an interest in the lives of others, and in so doing, learn from their perspectives and experiences. but that’s not going to happen from the pointless conversations.

maybe that’s why i’ve been feeling frustrated as i’ve chatted to folks recently, particularly over the christmas holiday. so often i’ve felt tired in the midst of conversations and have walked away feeling like i’ve contributed nothing to the chat. that i haven’t taken an interest or asked questions that they aren’t bored of answering.

i wonder if i put too much pressure on myself in this. but then i realise the true beauty of conversing with others and long to rediscover that within myself.