i’ve a competitive personality and an addictive gene. no doubt about it. its always been there. even when i was a kid i remember racing my mum and dad back to the car. they didn’t have a clue but i always wanted to walk quicker than then so that i reached the car first. that gave me a kick as a 5 year old.

i’ve seen my competitiveness and addiction come out in a big way this Christmas. first of all, i’ve joined an online chess community. going to get completely slated for that i know but its been great fun playing matches with people from all over the world. sometimes winning. sometimes not. but a great way for me to relax, as well as stretch my mind. sound like an old man in a residential home doing crosswords to keep his brain active for goodness sake.

but to keep my manliness in tact i’ve also been growing rather fond of my new Football Manager 08. this is the new version of the game that came close to ruining my A Levels, and this one is no less addictive. at times its been more tempting to play than read my bible. trying to get the balance between chill out times and feeding my soul this Christmas. always a struggle for me.

anyway, i think i’ve always viewed this competitve nature and addictive gene as a negative thing. i mean, i used to be addicted to gambling so that can’t be too positive i suppose…like the photo above suggests!! but i was at Manna last month and Stephen Cave was talking about how he was also competitive by nature. he too had always been told this was a negative trait but spoke of how it led him to always try things, dream dreams and push initiatives that no one else would be prepared to do.

since then, i’ve tried to embrace my competitive nature and channel it in a positive way. not always easy but much easier than trying to subdue a little piece of the way God has made me. so i’m asking Him continually to keep moulding me and shaping me, but at the same time, use the unique person He has created and crafted me to be. again a fine balance, but i’m wanting to explore this a bit in the next wee while and discover in what ways this can be channelled better.

i’ll let you know how i get on! any thoughts would be welcome…