:: laughing : dreaming : watching : waiting ::

this week i stumbled across something that i wrote 4 years ago. It was in response to reading the book “Red Moon Rising” for the first time and voiced my desires to see people seeking God’s face in prayer and worship in my own church, area and nation.

as I read it I had a good chuckle to myself at what i had written – the youthful naivety, the brashness of it all and the sheer enthusiasm. yet amidst the laughs was a realisation that perhaps some of that enthusiasm and passion has waned a little in my life over the years. and balancing this with my last post, this is something that I don’t want to ever lose sight of.

so here’s a little of what i wrote on the 14^th May 2004 when I was meant to be revising for my exams!!

14/05/04

Why do I feel like we’re on the verge of something? What is this that’s stirring within me? Is this just my child-like enthusiasm carrying me away, my youthful naivety getting the better of me or am I too dosed up on the opium of idealism. Possibly…very possibly…maybe even probably…but why then is the deepest darkest me not at peace? That doesn’t even begin to explain the fact that my Spirit is stirring and I don’t want to rest until we glimpse more of Almighty God. What is it that’s coming? What is it in air that’s changing? Are these once again the days of the Upper Room as God’s modern day disciples cry out to Him, call on His name and seek His face? Are we mirroring what the world’s first church planting team did before they spilled out onto the streets with the Spirit of God upon them to bring 3000 to faith in Christ?

Why is my CD player sticking on the words “Revive us”? Are we apathetic about seeing people’s eternities switched to glory? Do we even care about finding God? Have we let our hearts frost over? Let’s get out the De-Icer and realise that those who seek God will find Him and those who are pure in heart will see the Living, Immutable, Unchanging, All-powerful, Creator and King that we can call Father.

You tell us that those who humble themselves, turn from their own ways, pray and seek Your face will see their land healed. So why aren’t we seeking You? Why aren’t we hating sin with all the passion that is deep within us? Where has humility gone in these days and where are the over subscribed prayer gatherings? Would we even notice if God’s Spirit was upon us? Would we be so blind that we miss the day of Your hand upon us?

How often have we not followed Your paths and ended up walking in the wilderness for the next 40 years? Enough Lord, enough! Come Lord Jesus, come! Meet with Your people Lord and heal this land and may all glory go to You, Yahweh. Can you knock down the walls that separate and allow us access to the Promised Land?

Look! The red rope has been lowered and we are marching! Yes! We’re marching around those walls but what is it that we must do while we march? Yes! We minister before the Almighty One in song and we worship and call on His name. We’ll do it hour after hour, day after day, week after week and in the last days we’ll continue doing it all day and all night until you break those dividing walls. Will you smash those walls?

Revive and stir up Your people O God. Purify us and set us apart for Your anointed purpose. Is something coming? Is something changing? Possibly…very possibly…probably! We’ve humbled ourselves and turned from our wickedness, we’re praying and we’re seeking…DEFINITELY!! Let’s win this generation for our King!

i sat at dinner on thursday evening with 4 older men, each of whom inspired me greatly in the short hour i spent with them. as i ate, i listened intently as these men shared stories of how God has been speaking to them, leading them and working through them. it was one of those moments that i wanted to grab as much from as possible.

i suppose it reminded me that it’s more about how i finish this faith race than about how i start it. so often in this world we can get caught up in the now, now, now of it all, but these older and wiser folks reminded me of how this has the potential to be a lengthy journey with countless opportunities to grow, serve and change along the way.

and so i guess i’m saying that i’m nowhere near the finished article and i want to still be doing what i do in 40 years time. more and more, it’s the older finishers who inspire me. i want to be like them.

i don’t want age to discourage me, or marriage to confine me, or money to distract me. but instead, i want to be more like Jesus tomorrow than i am today.

“straining toward what is ahead, I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus.” phil 3:13-14

i know this post won’t paint me in the most gloriously cool “light” ever but the World Snooker Championship began today and i’m looking forward to spending a good bit of time watching it over these next 17 days!

while still remaining ever so slightly hypnotic, watching this championship has always been something i’ve loved. in years gone by it was a massive revision distraction, but today it was one of the greatest chill outs i’ve had in ages. i came home after a long weekend away speaking and sat with mumsy, not moving for a few hours, enjoying the chat, loving the game and especially appreciating the lack of urgency of anything pressing! i’ve missed times like that recently.

i’m off work tomorrow and am looking forward to a good lie in and another afternoon watching wee mark allen from antrim try to beat stephen hendry…

Magic Eyes are nothing more than a money making scam. They are a fraud!! I mean, who in their right minds could believe that these jumbled images actually contain an object within them?!

Are you like me and have spent time looking at a Magic Eye puzzle, staring at it for what seems like an age, unable to discover what object actually lay behind the mirage of lines and colours?

I’m a deprived human being because I have to confess that I’ve never ever seen even one of these Magic Eye objects – not one! One night I sat around a friend’s kitchen table with a Magic Eye book and watched all my mates marvel at the beautiful images concealed within while I saw nothing but a mess of colours.

They said helpful things like “look through it” (that didn’t make much sense) and reliably informed me that if you stared at the image for look enough an object would suddenly jump at me from the page! Yeah…and the word gullible has been removed from the English dictionary!!

I guess the whole magic eye thing feels a bit like life sometimes. Some days God seems so clear on my horizon, so vibrant in my sight. But often there are times when i’m staring hard at the page and yet I just don’t seem able to spot where God is in it all…

It reminds me of a time when Jesus appeared to two of His close friends and devoted followers. He walked up to nine miles with these men and chatted with them for the whole journey yet they didn’t even recognise Him! Their grief clouded their view of the Master and it was only later when Jesus broke some bread that He jumped out from the page at them and open eyed, wide eyed, they recognised Him.

So I suppose as I walk along the path it’s about trusting even when I can’t see Him, walking forward even when I don’t know the way, talking to Him like He’s there beside me…

really enjoying being over at spring harvest in minehead down the south west corner of england. i’m part of the youth team there, speaking at a stream each morning. feeling really humbled at being part of such a strong team here and learning off so many others.

the stuff i’m doing here is really stretching me and it’s felt hard. sometimes i can be so confident in routine but when your taken out of the situations your so familiar with, life can feel a bit shakier. that’s been me this week and i’ve been feeling totally reliant and dependent on God for every single little thing i do here.

so yeah, i think it’s going okay. know that God is definitely teaching me lots here but i don’t want to just come and selfishly take, take, take so i’m praying that God would use all my contributions here to help awaken young people to the beauty of God’s hope living through them.

just home from football coaching. for about 3 months around this time every year i have the task of coaching some teenagers how to play football! not that i claim to be Jose or Rafa but i do count countless seasons of Football Manager as adequate experience…

it’s a tough job at times as the younger guys especially are frustrating to watch…but i love it. in fact, it’s one of my favourite things i do. maybe it’s because of the football. or maybe because i have the opportunity to get alongside a bunch of young people. or probably a combination of both!

matches are starting next week and the quest for glory begins for yet another year after our devastating semi final defeat on penalties last year. many of these wee lads have lost in the semis or final over the past few years so i’m just hoping they can go one better this year. they deserve it!!

anyway, i’m off to do some speaking at spring harvest on thursday for a few days so the blog may be a bit quiet. wil try and post an update when i’m away though. keep lookin heavenward…

i sat in the odyssey arena yesterday morning watching thousands of kids at the Kidzfest event for the Celebration of Hope weekend. and as i looked on i was reminded of the words of Jesus about not hindering the little children coming to Him for His Kingdom actually belongs to these kids…

even from beneath my Barney costume, that was so evident yesterday as thousands of kids smiled, sang, danced, laughed and streamed forward to begin a friendship with Jesus. some may frown and worry and complain, but we’ve been commanded to not hinder these little ones coming to Jesus, and it just made me smile.

in fact, all weekend kids, young people and adults have been coming to Jesus. some have even entered into the kingdom of heaven. i don’t care about specific numbers or mass responses, i just want to see more people fall in love with Jesus.

no matter what you think of mass evangelism events, or come up to the front responses, or american evangelists, it’s such an exciting weekend in general for the church northern ireland. it’s just got to be a good thing when so many churches get together to be equipped better to share their faith in everything they do, to pray together, to think about their friends, and then to come en masse along with thousands of people who don’t yet know Jesus personally.

and you know what i think? loadsa folks becoming Christians at the same time is not down to 1 guy on a stage. its not because there was a good band on stage. it’s not even because of the celebration of hope event.

but i think it’s because of the faithful sunday school teachers, the mighty old prayer warriors, the bedraggled school SU leaders, the worn out youth leaders and the passionate parents of our nation.

this is their time to walk on air and be encouraged. this is their time to be applauded and affirmed. this is their time to be thanked and told to keep going. we need more people like them in our nation…

this follows on from my recent “missional” post a wee bit…i suppose i’ve been thinking about mission a lot recently and what it looks like and i’ve been reminded of an interview i heard at the front of a church a few years ago with a woman about her journey towards becoming a full time missionary. Let’s call her Deborah…

Deborah told of how for over 20 years she was the Personal Assistant of the General Director of a rather large corporation. She spoke of the eventual monotony of her job and how she sensed there was something more to life than simply this run of the mill job. Finally after two decades of this job of this “dead end job”, Deborah handed in her resignation and enrolled in full time study at a Bible College.

Following her studies, Deborah stepped into the much sought after land of full time Christian ministry. In fact, she managed to get a job with a well known and rather large Christian ministry. Deborah had finally answered the call of God upon her life to move into Christian service.

Deborah was applauded, thanked, encouraged and prayed for from the front. She was ensured that this particular group of people would continue to hold her in their prayers…particularly due to the nature of her missionary work.

And her role in this company? Her job description?

Wait for it…Personal Assistant to the General Director!!

Now don’t get me wrong, I loved Deborah, she was great. But when was she more a missionary? When she worked with a bloke who loved Jesus with everything He had? Or when she was rubbing shoulders with, assisting, aiding, working alongside and dealing with someone for 40 hours a week who didn’t know much about Jesus?

I always hear people say they feel called by God to be a pastor or an overseas missionary. I’ve rarely heard someone say that they’ve heard God call them to be a painter and decorator. Or a cleaner.

Why not?

Maybe it’s because we have fooled ourselves into thinking that God’s value system goes something like this:

1. Minister/Pastor/Preacher/Big name evangelist
2. Overseas missionaries
3. Full time workers for churches or missionary organisations: youth pastors, worship leaders, church planters etc.
4. Those who make a difference in society: doctors, nurses, teachers etc.
5. Everyone else

I believe this is a twisted view of God’s call upon our lives. And I suppose I feel quite uncomfortable writing this. Because I’m like Deborah. I work full time for a Christian ministry organisation and so that means I get described as a missionary by people in my church.

But I’m not convinced you see. In fact, I reckon that the lady in my church who helps school kids cross the road every morning is the missionary. I’m not.

Yet in my church I get prayed for publicly, affirmed audibly and encouraged eternally. Meanwhile hundreds of unsung heroes struggle to live their lives for Jesus, unsure if their ‘insignificant’  jobs and lives even matter and unaware of the difference God can make through them in the world.

For too long the majority of our churches have felt like second class citizens and second rate Christians. It’s time for the hidden heroes to be affirmed and celebrated, applauded and encouraged. It’s time for the real missionaries to be highlighted.