:: laughing : dreaming : watching : waiting ::

i want to be the best schools worker i can be. i desire to teach the Bible as well as i can. i’d love to relate to young people better…

but i’ve been thinking lately that i could be the best communicator in the world, but it doesn’t matter abit if i’m not a good mate. even if i was the greatest youth worker around, it wouldn’t matter much to God if i didn’t treat my mum and dad very well.

paul said something similar to that in bible:

“If I could speak all the languages of earth and of angels, but didn’t love others, I would only be a noisy gong or a clanging cymbal. If I had the gift of prophecy, and if I understood all of God’s secret plans and possessed all knowledge, and if I had such faith that I could move mountains, but didn’t love others, I would be nothing. If I gave everything I have to the poor and even sacrificed my body, I could boast about it; but if I didn’t love others, I would have gained nothing.”

so stuff it all if i can’t be a better mate, brother, son, boyfriend and co-worker. that’s my goal…

i run around in life with the music always turned up loud. the radio or cd player is constantly on in my car. if it isn’t it’s cosi’ve got my hands free kit on chatting to someone. then there’s email, bebo, blogs and podcasts. texts, voicemail and calls. i’m always rushing from one place to the next. doing one thing after another. meeting with yet another person. chatting with him or her.

my life is full of noise.

that’s why a bluetree song really caught me a couple of months ago. not just the song, but the concept behind it. or the bible passage its based on i suppose:

“The LORD said, ‘Go out and stand on the mountain in the presence of the LORD, for the LORD is about to pass by.’

Then a great and powerful wind tore the mountains apart and shattered the rocks before the LORD, but the LORD was not in thewind.

After the wind there was an earthquake, but the LORD was not in the earthquake.

After the earthquake came a fire, but the LORD was not in the fire.

And after the fire came a gentle whisper…”1 Kings 19:11-12 

i’ve been speaking about this loads over the last few weeks, making it my goal and determination to live this out myself. think God’s emphasising this at the minute in loadsa different ways.

perhaps we need to hear the gentle whisper. finding times to turn the volume down in life. discovering the beauty of silence, rather than always relying on community. 

cos it’s not that God’s not speaking, it’s just that sometimes i’m not listening!

its a funny thing having a blog. i mean i really enjoy it and its been a good thing for me to be able to process and share thoughts in this way. there are actually a few posts that i’ve written but have chosen to just save and not publish. while writing about something has helped me, not everything is to be made public.

though sometimes there is this pressure that goes with blogging. because i haven’t posted for at least 3 days there seems to be this need to write something anyway. this temptation exists to always write somthing fresh, groundbreaking and profound, even if i’ve nothing actually of worth to say.

i suppose i feel like that today. i’ve just come home from speaking at a school SU weekend, and to be honest don’t feel like i’ve anything decent to say. feel quite drained from speaking at 4 sessions, as well as chatting and praying with some of the young people.

i’m reminded of these words in ecclesiastes which buff shared with us before we led worship 2 weeks ago:

“There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under heaven:
a time to be born and a time to die,
a time to plant and a time to uproot,
a time to kill and a time to heal,
a time to tear down and a time to build,
a time to weep and a time to laugh,
a time to mourn and a time to dance,
a time to scatter stones and a time to gather them,
a time to embrace and a time to refrain,
a time to search and a time to give up, 
a time to keep and a time to throw away,
a time to tear and a time to mend,
a time to be silent and a time to speak,
a time to love and a time to hate,
a time for war and a time for peace”

maybe if solomon lived today he would write “a time to blog and a time to logoff, a time to share and a time to shut it.”

and so in the midst of this blogging and sharing my thoughts, ideas and reflections, i also want to discipline myself to learn the discipline of silence, not always bowing to the perceived pressures of blogging world!!

kinda gutted by the result last night, but not too much as i never really expected us to do it…apart from in my dreams of course! and that dream is over…for now anyway!!

speaking of dreams for Northern Ireland, i’ve been hearing lots about a huge evangelistic project coming over the next few months and just wanted to share abit about it. it’s called Celebration of Hope…

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before sharing this i have to be honest that i’ve begun to shy away from direct evangelistic events recently. probably this is a direct reaction against past experiences…

:: numbers games
:: forced or fake environments that give a false reflection on the nature of how we do church
:: so much energy, time, effort and money pumped into 1 night, with little time spent on discipleship, relationships and building true community
:: the Christian version of a 1 night stand, which lasts a moment but robs us of the potential of something deeper and more beautiful
:: evangelism as a method rather than pervading through every part of our lives

but i think this is why i love the Celebration of Hope event so much. because it seems to be none of the above, but rather a process rather than a project. it’s a 6 month journey rather than a 6 hour jolt. as well as this, it just seems a really good thing for the kingdom right now. something to help people be intentional about sharing Jesus through their lives.

there are lots of significant points on the run up to a big weekend of events from Friday 4th – Sunday 6th April in the Odyssey Arena. i’m especially excited about the youth side of things, with a big youth event planned on the saturday night of this weekend…

in the 6 months leading up to this night, young people all across the country are being encouraged to be intentional about praying for their friends, being open about their faith and then bringing folks on the night. there will be a huge youth prayer event in the waterfront in january to spark this into life, as well as a 4 week course designed to encourage young people to reach their friends.

for me, this has been a reminder to not throw the baby out with the bath water. it has restored my faith in how much God can use these type of evangelistic events and initiatives to build His Kingdom. i’m excited!!

check out the website at http://www.celebrationofhope.co.uk/

got into belfast on saturday afternoon to meet up with the boys from the Lough Shore Northern Ireland Supporters Club for our usual matchday afternoon. i’d only stepped off a plane in dublin at midday so i was just happy to be there.

the weather was shocking though and as we entered the ground an hour before kick off we heard news that the pitch had just failed an initial inspection. surely not. but after much debate between the officials, the match was given the go ahead. we’re so happy it did!

many described it as the most important game at home for 22 years. rumours suggested it was the last competitive game ever at windsor park. we probably won’t qualify for the european championships but for me this was the biggest football match i’d ever been to. it was our world cup final!

as usual, the atmosphere was awesome, i think i was hoarse before the match even started. for me, nights at windsor just get better and better. due to our block booking and travels away we have got to know the guys who sit around us, as well as other fans from all over the place. every windsor night feels like a real community. i love it. even when we conceded the first goal, as usual the singing began straight away.

for me, supporting my team over the last 15 years has always been about getting behind your team no matter what. in the 3 years when we didn’t score a goal. in all the time following them and never been in with a chance of qualifying. while losing to armenia, canada and latvia. i think that’s what makes the good times all the sweeter. england take note.

we may well do the business against spain on wednesday night, but other results won’t go our way and so it will just be the memories that endure, the lasting conversations of “I was there” and the questions from the grandkids of “did you every see david healy play?”

did i what?! roy of the rovers reads david healy comics!!

i’m at a bible conference in france at the minute so tapping into some foreign french wireless system to blog!

just feel so humbled. i’m surrounded this week with lots of heroes of the faith. out of the 40+ SU staff workers here from all over europe, i am definitely the youngest, and i’m just counting it as such a privilege to be here, listening to stories, perspectives and approaches from older, wiser and God-lier people who understand the context i work in. i mean, just sitting at meal times is inspiring!

i’m especially drinking in the Bible teaching from Bob Ekblad at this conference, who has written a book with the rather interesting title of “Reading the Bible with the damned”. in the book, and indeed this week, he’s exploring a very simple bible study method that he has used to great effect in north american prisoners. i highly recommend the book, it’s been a huge challenge to me as to how much i’m really opening up the Bible and allowing young people to engage with God through it.

so it’s got me thinking…

who is really opening up the Bible with young people today? i mean, really engaging with it, and not just referring to verses to help our nice oral presentations.

and who in our nation at the minute are facilitating bible studies for those who are not yet following Jesus? for the rugby team in school? or the young mums in the estate?

or is the bible just something for discipleship and those who make a commitment? is the bible then something we suddenly chuck at new believers as an instruction manual for their new found faith?

and how are we helping young people engage with the bible in relationship and in community? wrestling with the issues, listening for God’s voice together, bringing fresh insights and encouraging each other to live it out…

have we lost confidence in God’s word as a living, transformational book and instead attempt to dress it up in entertainment to make it more relevant? (as if it isn’t relevant already?!)

how can we better share the ancient stories of our faith? those that expand our vision and view of the God of abraham, isaac, jacob and moses?

any answers??

yesterday was dave’s funeral service. it was beautiful.

think i’d been a bit confused about everything over the last few days. upset over dave’s death. also gutted to see people i love breaking before your eyes. and i guess adding to that a sense of helplessness too. was struggling to pray about stuff too…

but yesterdays service helped to bring clarity in the midst of that. sometimes my eyes become so well adjusted to earth that i lose sight of the beauty of heaven. but in the midst of death, there was such a greater hope of heaven. and while death and cancer hurt like hell, ultimately Jesus has won a victory over death that can’t be reversed.

“in mansions of glory and endless delight,
i’ll ever adore Thee in heaven so bright!!
i’ll sing with a glittering crown on my brow
if ever i loved Thee my Jesus it’s now!”

you could feel the collective hope in the room. the corporate knowledge that Dave is dwelling in the place Jesus went to prepare for him. awesome!

while it was such an uplifting service, i also found it very draining, and it was tough to leave there and come straight up to bushmills to speak at an SU weekend. it’s going okay so far and i’m just enjoying some chill time now which is lovely.

sitting in starbucks in coleraine watching a preacher dude across the street. reminded about what i wrote a few posts ago. might go over and chat to him…

let me take you back to when i was 14. i was standing at a youth event in a church in randalstown completely disinterested in the songs. i wasn’t a christian and nor was i interested…

but there was this guy drumming who caught my eye. he was going for it. good drummer, but more than that, he was making me believe that the song was true. his whole upper body moved in motion. he was putting everything he had into playing. he was probably the first whole body worshipper that i’d set my eyes on. dave was inspiring.

about 24 hours ago dave died and left this life to continue his worship of His Saviour. its tough and confusing in many ways. but i guess God has the whole world in His hands and i think i trust Him in this. not easy though…

i know God that You’re right there with Dave’s wife, Laura, his mum, dad, sisters and brothers. but i also pray that they would be especially aware of Your presence which brings strength, comfort, peace and even joy.

as i type i’m reminded about my lack of gratitude for so many things in life i just take for granted…

we’ve just hit November and we’re already talking about Christmas shopping. lights have already been switched on in Ballymena and the annual festivities are about to launch into full swing.

so thought it would be good to highlight a good place to do some of your Christmas shopping that i’ve come across in the last few months. it’s called Living Generously, and is associated with the 24/7 prayer initiative. you can access their website at http://www.livinggenerously.com/

basically it offers a huge shopping list of things you can invest in forothers. for a tiny amount of money you can buy things like supporting a family in Africa. or you can provide medical care for someone from Guatemala. even buy a meal for a homeless man in London. its amazing how easy it is to be able to make a difference to people’s lives on a practical level.

i’ve bought a few things through this website, and also encouraged others to do in the past, and its great to know exactly what your money is going to, as well as know that partner organisations are there on the ground who are passionate about this work. you can even put up a wedding list on it…!!

check it out cos as Jesus Himself said…

“for I was hungry and you gave me something to eat, I was thirsty and you gave me something to drink, I was a stranger and you invited me in, I needed clothes and you clothed me, I was sick and you looked after me, I was in prison and you came to visit me.” Matthew 25:35-36

really its not just about giving of our money. but instead its about our lifestyle and looking beyond ourselves. and what better time to do this than in the run up to the Christmas season. one where the message of Jesus is so often lost and forgotten. where money is spent needlessly and carelessly. when we enjoy special comforts that so many of God’s children don’t.

seems like everyones talking or debating about evangelism at the moment. alot of it makes me smile but thought i’d post about it, not to promote ‘my’ views, or my ‘way’, but just to fire out a few questions and a couple of thoughts to help process some of this stuff.

evangelism is a word that so many Christians dread. it fills them with fear. brings about a guilt. what if i get it wrong? or say the wrong thing?

we debate if we should just go out and show people actions of love to point them to Jesus. while others say that its about telling people the truth as quickly as we can. some highlight short term mission teams as the way forward. others are more about huge city wide initiatives. some say its about friendships. others say evangelism must be done through the church. some say its about getting Jesus into the conversation as quickly as possible. others say its about a long term journey.

but Jesus never made it about a specific formula with the disciples. i mean, if He did, we’d all be doing it the same way. and that’s just it. have we made this whole evangelism thing too formal? too organised?

i’ve been thinking about this for ages and a key verse that strikes me is Colossians 3:17. now anyone who knows me or has heard me speak in the last year will probably know that i’ve been banging on about this verse for ages. for the most part of that time i focused on the word “whatever” in this verse, mostly helping encourage folks that God can use them in the things they are passionate about. however, recently its another aspect of this verse that has landed on me. its weird that you can study and think and speak and share and hear about a verse for so long, and then after ages something new hits you. i’m slow and this is simple but for me this speaks to me about evangelism… 

“and whatever you do, whether in WORD or DEED, do it all as a representative of the Lord Jesus.”

i mean, that’s it. our words and deeds must measure up. there are times to represent Jesus through our actions. and there are other times to represent Jesus through our words. more than formulas or programs. more than organisations or mission trips. even friendships or churches. there is a call for us to be Jesus’ representative in what we say and what we do. with whoever we are with and wherever you are.

evangelism is not an activity, it’s a lifestyle. and for me, the way that this can be seen best seems to be through relationships. the highs and lows. walking through life in words and deeds. actions and conversation. and maybe we can be a wee bit more intentional about this.

i was once told that if you were talking with someone for the first time and the conversation hadn’t come around to Jesus within 6 minutes that you had failed evangelistically.

what a load of rubbish…..6 minutes??!

for too long we’ve been chucking stuff at people from a distance and ducking away from meaningful relationships. can we begin to allow God to be part of our everyday lives so much that we begin to journey alongside those who need us the most.

so who needs my friendship right now?
who has God been calling me to journey alongside?
who needs a lifestyle of Christ modelled out to them that is different to all they ever encounter?
who requires more than 6 minutes?